Building Foundations

“I learned this, at least, by my experiment: that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavours to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. He will put some things behind, will pass an invisible boundary; new, universal, and more liberal laws will begin to establish themselves around and within him; or the old laws be expanded, and interpreted in his favour in a more liberal sense, and he will live with the license of a higher order of beings. In proportion as he simplifies his life, the laws of the universe will appear less complex, and solitude will not be solitude, nor poverty poverty, nor weakness weakness. If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.”

- Henry David Thoreau


My life is in my heart

I love to love, and live to give

My way to pray is to give my heart away

Surrender complete, otherwise i'm simply a cheat

there is no end to the kindness of a true friend

i long to be whole, for it's the right of my soul

but something deep down inside is still trying to hide

I don't know what it is, or where it came from

it haunts me and keeps me alone

I try to let go, to cheer up, to move on

I bury it in joy, and festivals, 24hr Kirtan

My heart feels torn in two, and there's nothing I can do

But ache from inside, and try not to cry

I thought that I would be free

If I were just to be "me"

and let the world go by, going deeper inside

maybe i'm facing my roots

the dark strong cords

which have kept me here

in this material world

those feelings of pain

that bring constant rain

on the sunny parade

of every days charade

I don't know who I am

I can't find my soul

I don't have a heart

Something somebody stole

I chose to give it away

Now I have to take it back

but I dont want to have it

I want someone to want take a crack

at opening this shell

which is my little private hell

where no light of love shines

on this little world of mine

I wish Krishna would save me

He said that He would

I don't know what to do

To make Him pleased for good

I try to work very hard

Because He said that's better

but even more than that I should love Him

I need to do more than just write a letter

So I'm trying my best

to get this weight off my chest

I'm facing my demons

and controlling my passions

I'm going early to bed

I'm struggling hard to be early to rise

I'm hoping and praying to at least become wise

I'm chanting my rounds

Trying to be immersed in divine sounds

I'm trying to manage my time

So that I can give more of what's mine

And have a wonderful life

to share with a wonderful wife

but for me that's so hard

because I have nothing but heart

I have hopes and I have prayers

and I have dreams of how to get there

I'm working as fast as I can

to be what they say is a "real man"

I dont know what to be, but anyone other than me

I just put out my heart, and from there make a start

to give every ounce of my care, to bring something to share

and offer it to the Lord, Who is so kind to those

who feel themselves humble and meek, and selfless service only seek

so I feel that this pain, is the price to finally gain

the goal of my heart... a beautiful new start

at the life I've always wished to lead

where every act is a gift of thought, word and deed.

I don't know if I'll get there

but for God's sake, I'll try

I may get there broken

I'll most certainly cry

But by that time comes

I'll have come completely undone

and fall flat in the hands

of the Lord's perfect plans

to bring me back to his land

where we'll be happy again.

Thank you Krishna.

I'm trying to be patient.

I'm in dire need of Your love and mercy.

I don't know how to go on.

I can't stop trying.

But I can't keep going.

Please send some help.

I don't know what else to do.

your loving and trying to be humble servant,
Rasikananda dasa