Effortless Humility

Krsna is the protector of the cows, who are completely dependent on Him to provide everything they need to survive, the grass, the land, the sun, the water, their masters, and each other. All they can do to give back, is to give their love in the form of their milk, their byproducts, their work, and their affection. Such a small price to pay for having such a wonderful Loving Master.

I was sitting down yesterday to engage in the ritual of American eating, getting a big plate of dinner on a TV tray and watching something for entertainment.

I've been exposed to too much information on how skewed and distortedly disturbing the news and basically everything else produced from consumeristic culture really is, so I saw vol.5 of "Following Srila Prabhupada: A Chronological Series" and popped it in.

I had the great opportunity to help Yadubara Prabhu design the series, so it has a special place in my memory and heart.

While watching it one devotee was remarking how Srila Prabhupada said, "Real humility is knowing that there is no other shelter than Krsna. When one knows that in the entire material world, nothing can give us any shelter, not our friends, our families, our husbands or wives, our bank balance, our education, our social positions, nothing can help us, except taking shelter of Krsna, who is the proprietor and controller of everything, then only can we be truly humble."

That rung so true for me.

I've been seeking shelter in so many places, in so many circumstances, in so many people, places, and projects, leaving surrendering to Krsna as my last resort. Knowing that praying to Krsna for material things is foolish, I would pray that "My dear Lord, I only want your pure devotional service. Please only give me unalloyed unmotivated uninterrupted loving devotional service to Your lotus feet through the mercy of the servant of the servant of your millions of servants. But I have this desire, so if you like, please help me."

Krsna has so kindly allowed me to explore every option for shelter to the full capacity and has very nicely shown the dead end of each and every option. There's a little sign saying "You have reached the dead end. Surrender to Krsna is your only option left." But then I would turn around and go down the next alley way to see if that might work, but no, it wouldn't and again I would engage in the same insane ritual, looking for some way out of distress through the pathways of material channels.

So, having explored the vast reaches of outer space and inner space and coming full circle, I'm back where I started, with Krsna saying "Here I am, come on and love me. You can do that without restriction, nobody can tell you no, nothing can stop you, there's no prerequisite qualification, just chant my Holy Names, love Me, serve Me, be kind to others, and give up looking for shelter elsewhere."

I've been trying to implement all of the above, but that last part, giving up all other shelters, has been my biggest hangup.

I'm just convinced that, I can have my unalloyed shelter in Krsna, and still get a little protection from the material circumstances. You know, have your cake and eat it too.

Well, it just doesn't work that way. Only fools attempt the same thing over and over and over again expecting new results, and well, I certainly qualify.

"When will it all end?" I ask Krsna. "When will this burning fire of material existence be extinguished? I keep putting fuel in it, but it just won't go out!"

I'm good for a laugh I expect, but not too many knowers of the truth think I'm good for much else, until I figure out that what I'm doing isn't the right way to go about doing things.

So now I'm here, trying to chant, trying to keep my mind off hankering for some material shelter, and trying to find it in the service of the Lord.

That's my only option, my only solution, and the trouble it takes to persevere in this endeavor is the price I have to pay for all the misdeeds of my past millenia of sinful life in the material world, investing my life in faulty shelters. It's a habit I ought to kick. So there's no time like the present.

The price to look up is the cost of not looking down.

Hare Krsna Hare Krsna Krsna Krsna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare

(:

Happy Humbly Hari Hari'ing