Reciprocation of a Green Mango

“Gratitude is not just saying the words ‘thank you’. Real gratitude means reciprocation, even if it is at a great cost to oneself.” – Radhanath Swami

Talk is cheap.

I'm full of it.

Waiting for action is my greatest hope and at the same time, shame.

How unlimitedly fortunate am I? To have this body, to have the association of Vaisnavas, to have loving family, to have such a loving Spiritual Master, and to have the opportunity of devotional service.

But how unlimitedly unfortunate I am. I throw it all away, for nothing.

Lamentation is a feature of an attached mind. The mind hankers, laments, and pushes free-will under the control of the modes of ignorance, passion and even goodness.

The cost of freedom is the choice to have it.

Action is the result of choice.

Choice is based on good intelligence, which is awakened in association of those who are pure in heart.

That association is a gift of love.

That love gives hope to choose, but choice must come from love already possessed.

If I possess no love, then choosing to act despite it's absence is the cost to obtain a portion of love from the reservoir of love, Srimati Radharani.

When love is obtained, if delivered to Krsna, it is ever increasingly renewed. Therein lies real reciprocation.

If it is neglected or directed elsewhere it becomes distorted and acts in reverse.

sa vai pumsam paro dharmo
yatho bhaktir adhoksaje
ahaituky apratihata
yayatma suprasidati

(SB 1:2:6)


"The supreme occupation (dharma) for all humanity is that by which man can attain to loving devotional service unto the transcendent Lord. Such devotional service must be causeless and uninterrupted, to completely satisfy the self."

As I find myself in adverse conditions, my only recourse of action is to give, on hope of love, devotional service, to those who hold Krsna in their hearts.

This is the only sane course of action.

I am very frail, and am unfit for any such task, but there is no other choice. I must try again, and again, and forever onward, for there is no rest in the shadow of illusion. Neither is there rest in the light of transcendence. The difference is in the nature of action, and under what conditions I choose to act.

As I take steps over vacant spaces of doubt, fear, uncertainty, I follow the hope of loving service, which guides me up the staircase of surrender, where my hardened un-ripe heart is matured into a softened juicy fruit for the pleasure of the Lord and His devotees.

The endeavor of a Mango is simply to remain attached to the tree.

Similarly, my effort is simply to remain in the company of stalwart Vaisnavas, and to reciprocate their gifts of loving compassion on me through personal sacrifice.

Srila Prabhupada said that this life is an austerity, who's benefit we may not reap until we leave this world, much like those observing Caturmasya do not experience the benefits until they return to their normal routine life.

This is the cost of freedom. This is the cost of my soul. This is who I am.

Our austerity is to be enthusiastic, for in reality, that's all that ever exists: Sat, Cit, Ananda, Everything's Ecstatic!